Rediscover the natural laws of love

Before talking about rediscovering them, we must ask ourselves if there are natural laws of love, if these laws are different from those that apply in our culture, and if not how to rediscover them.

Nature is very generally characterized by great harmony, particularly with regard to physiological and psychological functions. Pathology is in fact defined by a breakdown in natural harmony, which has the corollary of discomfort or suffering.

If we apply this general principle to love (and to the sexuality linked to it), we must recognize that harmony is far from reigning there as it does for other functions. The very frequent presence of suffering and frustration suggests, on the contrary, that the way we live it has deviated from natural laws. It is therefore reasonable to wonder about the possible disturbing factors, not to say pathogenic, which have broken the natural harmony and about the means that we can have to restore it.

Different paths are possible. The first consists of taking inventory of suffering and frustrations and trying to seek their causes through an analysis of the situations that gave rise to them. Factors that must be taken into account include:

• discrepancies between partners’ feelings
• discrepancies between sexual desires
• infidelity and jealousy
• the feeling of confinement in the couple
• sexual weariness
• intolerance of other people’s differences
• certain moral prohibitions
• a polarization contrary to current stereotypes
• sexual assault

We are faced with a set of disharmonies which should disappear at least theoretically if we go back to their causes. This confronts us with real investigative work allowing us to establish relationships of similarity between situations of suffering (or between romantic situations without suffering). One path already explored is that of psychoanalysis, which searches the unconscious for traumas originating from childhood and which prevent the free expression of impulses. Psychoanalysis, however, has not called into question social factors, notably morality, in that they can be unnatural and pathogenic. She was not able to do so, for a fundamental reason: she postulates, following Freud, that the aim of sexuality, with regard to its non-reproductive part, is to gain pleasure. This is a serious error, for the simple reason that no instinct has pleasure alone. It is therefore not surprising that it was unable to resolve the problem satisfactorily and that the benefits obtained from it remain very partial.

A second way consists of comparing romantic and sexual experiences in different cultures. This is not an easy thing, because it would involve penetrating the privacy of individuals, which presupposes discretion.

A third path is that of esotericism: seeks in what has been said or taught in the past, for example in myths, the keys which would allow solving the problem. An important element in this area is provided by the large triptychs of Hieronymus Bosch. In fact, we find there all the rules of a “sacred Eros” allowing the development of the higher planes of consciousness, and at the same time the description of the errors, most often induced by dominant morality, which make our life hell. In particular, Bosch gives us the answers to the questions we may ask about the root causes of the difficulties we see appearing in romantic relationships, as described above.